Having healthy boundaries is a part of self-care! Where do you begin? This week, why healthy boundaries improve your relationships, and how to effectively communicate your needs to your partner, family, and friends. It’s about who you allow in your space! Space is your personal time, your emotional space, and where you give and spend your energy.
Sometimes the combination can feel quite crowded! That’s when my hubby, David, and I decided we would add a fun element to our communication when that happens. We say, “Get out of my nest”.
How are setting healthy boundaries helpful for you?
- You have defined your identity. You are confident. Not arrogant. Your confidence is going to work for you as others will now know what to expect from you. How refreshing is that?
- Healthy boundaries honor what you need. It is important to not judge other people’s choices or boundaries. Be kind & listen with an open mind.
- Determine the consequences for when someone crosses that line. Be committed to take action. What would that look like? Personally, I’ve chosen to unfriend individuals on social media, end friendships, relationships, and my work environment. It was not easy. When someone disrespects you more than once and you now know what to expect of them, ask yourself, “how will this impact my emotional & physical health if I continue to allow this.”?
- When you consistently follow 1-3 you will be respected. You don’t have to be loved or liked by everyone to be respected.
- Ask your partner, friends, family & co-workers what their healthy boundaries may be or how you can best be helpful to them and …. listen.
How to communicate effectively is by using “I” statements.
Let’s say, you don’t want to talk about the news or COVID-19 anymore today. You may consider the following;
“It is not helpful to me to talk about COVID right now.”
“It has been helpful for me to limit my news/media to 20 minutes a day. And I’m maxed out.”
“I am feeling overwhelmed today, may we change the topic? “
Here are some of my healthy boundary examples during COVID-19.
- TOPIC: Weight gain memes.
ACTION: I scroll past them on social media without commenting because I’m hoping the algorithm will see that I don’t engage and find me other memes to interact with. So far, my theory has worked!
ACTION: If a weight gain meme is texted to me. I recognize that it is meant for humor & without a mean intention. Yet, I have set my boundary by texting back, “It is stressful for me to see memes that make fun of women gaining weight during COVID.”
2. TOPIC: Complaining or Boredom Texts / Posts
ACTION: I appreciate your view, however, I am focusing my energy on how I can be more thankful, happy for what I have right now.
Both of those examples share what I will allow into my space without being unkind.
How do you have healthy boundary success? Get real with your feelings and what triggers your stress. Recognize who & what you will allow in your space to be your best.
Let me know if this has been helpful to you!