Tag: Empowerment

How To Handle Political Posts From A Colleague

How To Handle Political Posts From A Colleague

anastasiardh

We’ve all seen it. Political posts that say if you are a part of this party, then I’ll unfriend you. What? What if I don’t share your faith? Do you like me less because I’m not a mom? You get the picture. 

When so many work so hard to fight labels, when did it become okay to create labels in other lanes? 

I know that some will say, so what? Keep on scrolling. It’s not so easy. What if this is a colleague with whom you collaborate on various projects? Or what if this colleague is someone you consider a mentor? Then what happens when you label a colleague who connects to another colleague and another and another? From what I’ve seen on social media, women struggle more emotionally with these posts than men. 

So, how do you handle posts that make you anxious, sad, or stressed?

  1. Pause! I bet you thought I was going to say breathe! I feel that pausing leads us to breathe. Now inhale, exhale, and release the urge to respond. Even if your intentions are good, move on. It may look like you are setting out to prove this colleague wrong with this kind of post. When has that ever been productive? 
  2. See the BIG picture. Ask yourself the following questions. Is this the person that you know? Do you believe they think you are who they refer to in their post? How would they treat you if they ran into you on the street or at a conference? Friendly? Have you collaborated with them in the past? How was that experience for you? What impact may their posts have on future collaborations with you? With this information, you now get to decide if you will sit out a few and collaborate at another time. 
  3. Words matter. Know the risks of posting political opinions. It creates division, labels, judgment, and risks. A good colleague of mine, who was also a sponsor, once enlightened me about a little thing called optics. Optics are risks. What’s the risk with political posts? Losing existing or new clients, sponsors, and colleagues, you collaborate on projects with friends and family. 
  4. Set healthy boundaries for your energy. Seeing judgemental posts give off a bad vibe, and for many women, it can wreck your morning! Don’t match that energy! Stay focused, and harness your exuberance! 

That liveliness introduces you to your next comment, client call, zoom meeting, email, etc. Think of it as a part of your image! 

Your energy is your most significant currency, so spend it wisely! 

Take What You Learn & Make A Difference With It

Anastasia

How To Reduce Screen Time & Set Healthy Boundaries

anastasiardh

The Social Dilemma documentary on Netflix inspired this week’s video. It is mind-boggling to learn how we ARE the product! It now makes sense to me when my husky, Gibbs, shows his intervention skills! 🙂 

I’ll show you how to reduce your screen time on selected social platforms & how to set healthy boundaries for your time, emotions & energy in 10 steps. 

Step 1. 

Swipe to the right and scroll down until you see Screen Time. You can also access it by going to Settings. 

Step 2.

Click on it to view your daily average. Scroll down to decide whether you want to share this on all of your devices. 

Step 3. 

Scroll back up, just a little until you locate See All Activity. Click on that. 

Look at the time that you have spent on your phone and notice what you accomplished. You will now see how much time you spend in the following categories, like networking, researching, or creating. 

Step 4.

Scroll down to Pickups. This statistic shows you how often you pick up your phone AND which apps you use first after picking it up! Now you can recognize it is time to set healthy boundaries from social platforms. 

Step 5.

Scroll to find the social media platform you want to set healthier boundaries for your time, emotions, and energy. For this example, I’ve chosen to show you how to do this for Facebook app. Select Facebook and click on it. 

Step 6.

You will see your daily average on this platform. Scroll to the bottom to select Add Limit. 

Step 7.

Choose the amount of time you want to spend on each social media platform. 

Step 8.

Want more healthy boundaries? Select Customize Days. Every day of the week, you get to select how much time to spend on that particular app. 

Step 9.

You will receive a notification 5 minutes before the time limit. Kind of like when our parents did with us when we were kids, right? Here though, you will get to choose to ignore the time limit, add a minute or add 15 minutes.

Step 10.

If seeing notifications is your trigger to pick up your phone, then stop them!  Badges are the red dots on top of the icons. There is no need for them on your social apps. It will only take control of your time. What works for me are temporary banners. 

I’m clearly not opposed to social media. It has become invasive in 3 areas, my time, emotions, and energy. Setting healthy & realistic boundaries on social platforms has allowed me to be fully present in my life. I deserve that and so do those with whom I spend time with. 

Love to know your thoughts and if this was valuable to you!

How To Set Healthy Boundaries During COVID-19

anastasiardh

Having healthy boundaries is a part of self-care! Where do you begin? This week, why healthy boundaries improve your relationships, and how to effectively communicate your needs to your partner, family, and friends. It’s about who you allow in your space! Space is your personal time, your emotional space, and where you give and spend your energy.

Sometimes the combination can feel quite crowded! That’s when my hubby, David, and I decided we would add a fun element to our communication when that happens. We say, “Get out of my nest”.

When your personal & emotional space feel crowded, I’ve found it helpful to say “Get out of my nest”.

anastasia

How are setting healthy boundaries helpful for you?

  1. You have defined your identity. You are confident. Not arrogant. Your confidence is going to work for you as others will now know what to expect from you. How refreshing is that?
  2. Healthy boundaries honor what you need. It is important to not judge other people’s choices or boundaries. Be kind & listen with an open mind.
  3. Determine the consequences for when someone crosses that line. Be committed to take action. What would that look like? Personally, I’ve chosen to unfriend individuals on social media, end friendships, relationships, and my work environment. It was not easy. When someone disrespects you more than once and you now know what to expect of them, ask yourself, “how will this impact my emotional & physical health if I continue to allow this.”?
  4. When you consistently follow 1-3 you will be respected. You don’t have to be loved or liked by everyone to be respected. 
  5. Ask your partner, friends, family & co-workers what their healthy boundaries may be or how you can best be helpful to them and …. listen.

How to communicate effectively is by using “I” statements.

Let’s say, you don’t want to talk about the news or COVID-19 anymore today. You may consider the following;

“It is not helpful to me to talk about COVID right now.” 

“It has been helpful for me to limit my news/media to 20 minutes a day. And I’m maxed out.”

“I am feeling overwhelmed today, may we change the topic? “

Here are some of my healthy boundary examples during COVID-19.

  1. TOPIC: Weight gain memes. 

ACTION: I scroll past them on social media without commenting because I’m hoping the algorithm will see that I don’t engage and find me other memes to interact with. So far, my theory has worked!

ACTION: If a weight gain meme is texted to me. I recognize that it is meant for humor & without a mean intention. Yet, I have set my boundary by texting back, “It is stressful for me to see memes that make fun of women gaining weight during COVID.”

2. TOPIC: Complaining or Boredom Texts / Posts

ACTION: I appreciate your view, however, I am focusing my energy on how I can be more thankful, happy for what I have right now. 

Both of those examples share what I will allow into my space without being unkind.

How do you have healthy boundary success? Get real with your feelings and what triggers your stress. Recognize who & what you will allow in your space to be your best.

Let me know if this has been helpful to you!

Anastasia