How My Experience With Grief & Loneliness Prepared Me Emotionally During COVID-19

Have you felt anxious, stressed, sad, tired, angry, restless, or in a fog like you are living in a different dimension lately? If you answered yes, you are not alone. I believe we are experiencing grief and loneliness as we stay strong in our fight to stay healthy as individuals and as a country during the COVID-19 pandemic.

We grieve the many things we were able to do with friends, family or co-workers. We feel lonely or disconnected from our staying home in effort to stay safe and healthy. I understand.

In 2016, I was so excited to marry the man of my dreams! We were in our forties, and opted to combine our wedding and honeymoon so we traveled to a destination out of the country. Prior to leaving the USA, we talked with my mom and my futre in-laws. We felt blessed and blissful! The day after arriving at our destination, I received a message sharing that my mom had suddenly passed away from a pulmonary embolism. My world would never be the same.

I understand what it is like to not be able to see your loved one, visit them in a hospital, hold their hand, give them a hug, or hear their voice. I understand what it is like to virtually make funeral arrangements. I understand what it is like to go back to your life feeling so disconnected and detached. I had to learn how to grow through grief and loneliness.

  1. Learn to like to being alone with yourself. If you are unable to like being with yourself or are bored being alone with yourself, then how will anybody feel connected to you or want to be around you? This is an opportunity for you to do your best self-care. Love yourself. Create new goals. Honor the process.
  2. Release your expectations of yourself, your intimate relationships, friends, family & others. By doing this, you set healthy boundaries which will be rewarding for your emotional health.
  3. Visit social media with intention. In 2016, I attempted to escape my loneliness by being on social media more often. It was August – December during the Presidential campaign. Toxic political posts in my feed only triggered sadness, anxiety and stress. What I found helpful was to limit my time on social media. It became optimized when I used it for (1) personal growth (2) professional growth. Intentionally seek out motivation, empowerment, mindset boosting affirmations, and for those you consider mentors or leaders that you can learn from to hone your career craft.

In times like these, you have 2 choices to overcome grief and loneliness. You can choose to nurture existing relationships or form new ones. The most important relationship is the connection with yourself.

What To Say or NOT! Grief Advice During The Holidays

The Holidays are about keeping family traditions, creating memories and spreading some Christmas spirit. If you have lost a loved one, it is important for those around you to grasp the magnitude of how grief will impact you.

Loss is loss. And the Holidays are especially difficult to endure when you are grieving. People may have the best intentions yet they also say things that make you want to respond with “Did you seriously just say that?” or  “Did you not get hugged enough as a child to say something so insensitive?”

The worst grief that anyone will ever experience is your own.

Why aren’t we pausing before we speak to someone before blurting out something that is not comforting? At times when emotions are very raw from grief, consider the following suggestions you can do to communicate with compassion. Make your words feel like a hug! Hugs help those who are hurting. Simply stated, hugs comfort.

 

 

Thanks for viewing!

Let me know your thoughts  or share your suggestions on What To Say … Or Not!

Till next time,

Take What You Learn & Make A Difference With It

Anastasia

www.AnastasiaTurchetta.com

How Vulnerability & Social Media Mesh

Imagine your life arriving at a place where you felt so alive, thankful and silly happy. Maybe it was your wedding or when your child  or grandchild was born, or when you won your battle with cancer. 
Imagine your life arriving at a place where you felt shock, sadness from your loved one’s sudden death. Confusion & frustration try to unravel you. 
Now, imagine an unexpected collision of happiness & sorrow. It is a perfect storm that will demand you to choose to adapt to life’s changes or submit to living life in chains. 
The passage through grief is unique to each person. I am fully aware of every stage and allow myself to feel the raw emotions and spontaneous tears. 

The responsibilities following death of our loved ones is a full time job that no one interviews for yet somehow lands. 

Every day I’m one step closer to accomplishing the goal in getting fired from this “job”.
Because of that, I’m a bit slow at returning to full speed ahead and apologize in advance for my delay in response or action. 
To those of you who viewed my LIVE video on FB, thank you for sharing such a vulnerable moment with David and I. Mom was finally understanding the power of social media and her daughter’s role in it … I’m certain she is smiling and scratching her head at how these videos can reach so many people who took the time to encourage, pray and share their heart.  
Life does not end. Life changes. Love remains. 







Anastasia